This is a blog that I feared I would never be able to write one day. It is about celebrating the miraculous improvements I have made regarding my chronic pelvic pain. I had tears in my eyes the other day when I thought about the dark days I once had with this hellish condition. I never stopped fighting though, even when things looked really bleak!
I was twenty-one years old when the horrendous symptoms started. I had abdominal pains and was wanting to wee a lot. Then, I noticed excruciating pain whenever I ejaculated. As the days went on my symptoms got worse and worse. I had to drop out of university such were the severity of my symptoms. I was literally wanting to pass water EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY!
It took TWO YEARS to finally get a correct diagnosis. Phew, it was not prostate cancer I was told. Nevertheless, what I had was a condition called Chronic Bacterial Prostatitis. In layman’s terms this meant I had a prostate infection. The constant weeing was a consequence of the infection I was told. There and then I was diagnosed with an irritable bladder for LIFE!
With medication for my bladder, I finally was well enough to go back to uni. Nevertheless, as a result of the numerous infections, I was left with excruciating chronic pelvic pain. I would have this pain EVERY DAY FOR TWENTY-THREE YEARS!!!
I have been asked pretty frequently through the years as to why I am still single?? These people don’t know what kind of hell I’ve been through. There were girls I knew liked me at uni, but I never did anything about it because getting aroused hurt my inflamed pelvis too much. This really got me down. My depression with this situation got that bad that at one point I can remember feeling completely emasculated, it broke my heart.
I could not tell these women who liked me, that my bits were too sore because I felt too embarrassed. That was then though and this is now. I no longer feel embarrassed about revealing such personal details.
I finally graduated, but the pelvic pain persisted. I used to be so sporty in my youth and late teens before all of this happened. I used to play cricket and football for various teams. I absolutely loved going to gym. Exercise was a fantasy at this point though because it hurt to even just walk one hundred yards. This again broke my heart as well as completely demoralised me.
Over the years I saw numerous physios for my pelvic pain, all unsuccessfully I must add. Nevertheless, around twelve months ago I got in touch with a physio who was a pelvic pain expert. I was hopeful she might be able to help me, but I was also pretty scared because she felt like my last hope. I can still remember an old frustrating Psychologist of mine doubting my somewhat blind insistence, that my pelvic pain would indeed get better one day once I’d found the right physio. What if she was right and I was wrong, what then I worried?
I am not fully sure what specifically got me a lot better, but what I do know is that it has definitely been down to two things. Firstly, I had internal pelvic floor trigger point release from this amazing physio(google it, it’s very invasive and not pleasant). Secondly, I tried going to the gym again. I was truly fed up of looking like Mr Blobby. I started off very slowly building myself up nice and gently. I tried to see how much I could get away with regarding my pelvic pain.
My pelvis situation improved that much that I stopped needing to go to physio can you believe? I have now been going to the gym for around EIGHTEEN MONTHS and this is the best my chronic pelvic pain has ever been. I can run now, I can cycle now and I can row. The other day I was thinking how far I have now come in terms of my pelvic pain recovery, and I almost broke down in HAPPY tears. It feels like I have my life back now.
Today, I can exercise regularly more or less pain free. No longer does my sexual identity feel stripped away from me. I now feel like I could finally cope with a girlfriend. I am not cured don’t get me wrong, but I am tonnes better than I once was.
I wanted to write this blog to celebrate how much my pelvic pain has improved. I also hope my sharing gives hope to other men out there who are currently struggling like I was. Perhaps you have a partner or husband who is suffering with chronic pelvic pain? Believe in hope my friends because things can change for the better. Look at me, I am living proof that they can!
Love and best wishes, Andy x.