Are you like me tired of living in a Britain that currently sees SCARVES taken for granted and ignored?
Do you wince every time you see an abandoned SCARF, lost say on a bus or train?
Are you fed up of feeling like a second rate SCARF CITIZEN?
Well today my fellow SCARF COMRADES you can help make a difference. By voting for the SCARF PARTY today and for me (@SCARFMAN) as your self-elected SCARF PARTY LEADER, together we can start a SCARF REVOLUTION in this country. I give you my word I will fight SCARF PREJUDICE and in particular CAMP SCARF PREJUDICE, everywhere I go. I am fed up of hearing the same old ANTI-SCARF rhetoric from the opposing HAT AND CRAVAT PARTIES. HATMAN said last night, “GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE, SCARVES DO”. I’ll fight such outlandish statements if you vote for me today…you have my SCARFY WORD. Here now is a list of my election promises that I will keep if you vote for me today….set not in stone…..but on PINK METROSEXUAL LINEN 😀
1) I WILL MAKE IT COMPULSORY FOR ALL MALES OVER THE AGE OF 16, TO WEAR A CAMP PINK SCARF AT LEAST TWICE-A-WEEK.
2) I WILL CREATE A BRITAIN WHERE GUNS ON THE STREETS ARE REPLACED BY SCARVES.
3) BY 2020 I WILL MAKE SURE ALL SHOPS STOCK CAMP MALE SCARVES ON THEIR PREMISES.
4) I WILL CREATE THE SCARF ACT THAT MEANS EVERYBODY HAS TO WEAR A SCARF WHEN GOING OUTSIDE IN THE WINTER MONTHS. IF NOT, THEY WILL BE PROSECUTED AND SENT TO JAIL.
5) I WILL GET TOUGHER ON SCARF IMMIGRATION IN THIS COUNTRY BY CREATING A NEW SCARF BORDER POLICE FORCE. BY THE END OF MY FIRST TENURE IN OFFICE AS SCARF PRIME MINISTER, YOU HAVE MY WORD 85% OF THE SCARVES WORN IN THE UK WILL HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE UK.
6) I won’t permit us to have a SCARF REFERENDUM as the CRAVAT PARTY wants.
7) I will introduce a new minimum SCARF WAGE of 5 scarves an hour.
Seven SCARF pledges that will unite this glorious country of ours and help create a SCARFIER BRITAIN.
Comrades, I am willing to makes the SCARF SACRIFICES necessary to make this country great once again, but I need your support to do this. NO MORE COMPULSIVE HAT WEARING BY THE SPITEFUL HAT PARTY. NO MORE SILLY LOOKING MEN WEARING CRAVATS.
THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT MY FRIENDS, THE FUTURE IS SCARF! #VoteScarf
NB That was my attempt at a bit of silly humour on MAY 7th 2015, UK GENERAL ELECTION DAY. ;D